Tunnels

You start off believing that the rules are simple, that life is overseen by responsible grownups who know a lot more than you do, and they can be trusted.  And if the grownups don't always have your best interests at heart, then there's always a higher authority, perhaps even an all-knowing Deity, who will make everything okay in the end.  Things happen for a reason, and even if tragedy strikes, it's okay because Someone Somewhere knows why things had to go down the way they did.  

In time, your grownups disappoint you, or they demonstrate their fallibility, and the whole notion of a Supreme Being begins to have a suspiciously Santa-Claus-like ring to it.  The key is to trade certainty for hope.  Instead of "believing in" things, I've had to start simply "hoping for" things.  I've found that, in this way, I've been able to maintain a sense of wonder and awe alongside a healthy degree of skepticism.  

The things that I actually believe in are few, which can make life hard in my line of work.  I believe that life is good; love is real; and dreams are worth pursuing.  I believe that light will always dispel darkness, but only when it's time.  I believe that death is not the enemy.  

And yet, the things I hope for are many.  I hope that perfect love will finally cast out fear.  I hope that there is indeed a joy that outlives sorrow.  I hope that--somewhere, somehow--life will have the last word, in the end.  Hell, and since hopes don't have to make sense, I even dare to hope that I'll see my maternal grandmother somewhere on the other side of Mystery.  I can't quite believe it, but I do hope it, because she was the kindest, wisest adult I ever knew--until I became an adult myself, of course.  

In a way, you get your Supreme Being restored to you, but now instead of an all-knowing Parent, he or she is the deathless spirit of love, the force of life itself, the breath of life within us.